forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
