I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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