Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize