she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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