She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
