Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
