So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
