you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize