she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
