I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
