Where is the hickey?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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