we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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