Can i not drive my cunt home
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
