This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
