so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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