We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
