Are we in a gay sports bar?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
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