Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

i can juggle bunnies

(1-802): View more from Vermont

cool

(802): View more from Vermont

on fire

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

Fav 18 5179 1573
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(207): View more from Maine

Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

Fav 1 1704 699
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

Fav 2 789 1149
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(330): View more from Ohio

I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.

Fav 1 509 945
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(224): View more from Illinois

We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.

Fav 0 493 289
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(951): View more from California

Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening

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