just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
