I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
