I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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