you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
