I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
