he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
