we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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