Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
