I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
