ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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