I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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