You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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