Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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