New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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