Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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