Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
