We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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