Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize