try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
