As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sorry about my life...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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