Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
