worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize