Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize