totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
