I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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