I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
