There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
