It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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