I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
