grandma shit on top of the toilet
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize