I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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