She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
