took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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