just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
