it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
