our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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