We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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