I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
pray to the hookup gods
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize