we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Come on in and take your pants off
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