Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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