My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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