Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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