Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
