oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
