I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
