Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.

(1-561): View more from Florida

Agreed

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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(949): View more from California

I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.

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(214): View more from Texas

you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?

(806): View more from Texas

i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.

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(559): View more from California

I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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(773): View more from Illinois

He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.

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