He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
