Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
