So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
