Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
