Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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